Feminine Sexuality

What sexual education we didn’t receive failed to teach us.

Buddhism and Feminine Realization

For the majority of women & men, we end up getting our sexual education in our youth from our friends’ encounters and sadly pornography.

What we do not realize is that all of pornography is geared for masculine sexuality, not feminine sexuality. Pornography really represents a tiny fraction (less than 4%) of what is possible sexually for both women and men.

While meditation, health and fitness and personal development are the forefronts for 30 years, sexuality has been suppressed and is still considered a tabu topic for many.
Only 2 – 3% of the population these days contemplates, focuses and shows interest in the Tantra and Tantric practices and Studies. flowering womb

Tantra has been a part of Indo-Buddhism, Hinduism & South and East Asia for thousands of years. Tantra bridges the gaps and connects the mind, heart, and body into a well-functioning whole. Opening greater creative potential, increasing our serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin levels (the love and bonding hormone) allowing for deeper healing, intuition and vitality and much much more.

Tantra allows and makes sex a sacred holy act.

Tantra is also not just about sex, it is about the weaving of energetics and understanding your humanness in the fabric of life.

In our society, there is a lot of shame around sexuality, intimacy, and sensuality.

Women are still not allowed to be in their natural essence and both women and men have issues with women’s sensuality.

Teachings of sacred sexuality, tantra, and secret yogas are paramount today, as 1 out of 10 women, (10% of women) is looking to heal some kind of sexual trauma.

1 in 3 women has experienced sexual trauma.

There are even darker more astounding statistics that I will not share in this article.

These things raise our awareness and bring us closer to understanding just how we must take care and understand better our sexuality, vitality, sensuality and healthy maintenance of life force energy – SHAKTI more clearly.

yab_yum_vajrasattva_thangka
Vajrasattva YubYum

In living and practicing as a woman I found there is a great need to educate women about their bodies and sexuality. Tantric practices and realization go hand in hand.

Feminine discipline, sexual care and meditation practices are an important part of knowing yourself and being able to manage your self-care and health.

Many women think that their libido is very low, in most cases, it is a result of trying to have sex in a masculine way! Most women will try to get into penetrative sex before being fully aroused.

Educating women around the topic of arousal and feminine energy is pivotal, as it is our natural life essence and the more relaxed and in the body we are, the more we get done, and can create in the world, and offer to others.

Most women need to feel safe before engaging in sex.

For women it is quite difficult to separate sex from love, because our internal energy is more like water, dripping into the internal channels and moving towards the yoni. We cultivate the energy of nurturing and our biology supports giving and replenishing and taking care of life, hence sex and love go hand in hand. It takes time to move that energy and to circulate it, it requires different techniques and approach for women to be connected and revitalized.

For men, their sexual energy is like fire it takes a fairly little effort to get turned on and it does not always need to be connected to love. This is why men have a different set of practices and tools that they needed for their sexual development and energy management.
Male sexuality is focused biologically on giving, while female sexuality is focused on receiving. Both are very capable of giving and receiving and in a healthy relationship a balance needs to be maintained.


About our feminine bodies

Our sexual center, our womb, our pelvic floor (pelvis) is a creative center and a place in a feminine body that stores a lot of energy, the energy that we need to know how to use and move and apply carefully.

Knowing how to and taking care of our yoni is very important with the use of special stones and other practices, both sexual and non-sexual. Often women are not educated about these important topics. As the world is becoming more digitized and wisdom is more accessible, it is important to bridge these gaps between ancient traditions and wisdom and modern women, for balance, health, and vitality.

Yantra Tara
Cosmic Yantra Tara

Feminine dynamism and strength of our bodies come from the balance in all the organs and knowing how to take care of our vital sexual organs is very important for women.
I hold a strong conviction that every woman has a capacity to heal her body naturally, provided she has the right tools.

Ovarian exercises, breathing practices as well as yogas, energy exercises like Qigong or Tai Chi are all an intricate aspect of maintaining our bodies healthy, our wombs pain-free during menstruation and our hormonal balance in check.

While we meditate and our practice is affected by the way we use our minds it is also important that we understand our bodies and the delicate connection and balance between our energetic, subtle, and gross body, mind and their interconnectedness.

While many things can be explained anatomically and physically to women, the Tantric path is a path that teaches us to understand and use the inner wisdom, the Buddha Nature, combined with a practice that is suitable for where we are at, not all things need to be shared, and a lot of the teachings received are highly energetic transmissions and are transformative.

Having a proper guide, teacher/counselor you can trust is important.


Jade Egg Practices

Any woman over 20 needs to be looking at the proper care of her pelvis & yoni.

The use of jade or obsidian egg for that matter internally is a practice that helps to alleviate many problems in women’s health as well as strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor.

jade egg
Etsy: LoveStoneShop
  • ​Improved continence
  • Improves Overall Pelvic Health
  • Heals Stress Incontinence
  • Improves Vaginal Dryness and Thinning
  • Strengthens Sexual Pelvic Muscles
  • Quickly Regain Tone After Childbirth
  • Improved bladder función
  • Strengthen vaginal muscles
  • Energetic protection
  • Improves Overall Pelvic Health
  • Heals Stress Incontinence
  • Improves Vaginal Dryness and Thinning
  • Strengthens Sexual Pelvic Muscles
  • Increased healthy self-confidence
  • Sexual trauma release/healing
  • Increased lubrication (vaginal dryness causes many issues for women)
  • Increased sensitivity
  • Increased intuition
  • More in-tune with the body’s energy
  • Increased attractiveness
  • Better sex
  • Decreased appetite
  • Heart orgasm – healing and purifying the heart:
  • Yoni connection
  • Greater mental stability
    and much much more

The work with a jade egg needs to be done at each women’s individual pace, there is absolutely no one to compete with, as only you are the one in possession of your own body.
Your intuitive insights and guidance of mentors you trust is an important part of this journey. Your own emotional maturity will be an evolving guide on this path of self-care and growth helping you reach liberation.

Whereas men have their genitals outside and handle/touch them daily, women’s anatomy keeps our sexual organs internally hidden from our eyes and it is important for women to know how to take care of our bodies, and how to know our bodies and how to manage our energy and vitality.

The proper care of our bodies includes the right diet, yoga practice and may include jade egg practices.

Our yonis carry an emotional imprint of everything that happens in our lives.
Knowing how to self-asses and draw right conclusions is important.

When I work with women I encourage them to try different jade egg practices, to get acquainted with their bodies. It is important that each woman works at her own pace and gets to feel comfortable with her own body and pelvis/yoni.

Personally, as a teacher of the feminine I support the use of these stones:

nephrite jade
obsidian
rose quartz
amethyst

The size of the egg matters a lot, despite contrary information available online and in some books. It is important to remember that the ancient Taoist practitioners also used and mention in their texts the various sizes of the eggs, we need to consider that information as valid and recognize that each women’s body is different in size and also in its abilities.

This matters a great deal in the practice of Tantric Buddhism and yoni care.
Always buy certified NEPHRITE JADE yoni eggs.
Good Buys are:

LoveStone Shop
Genuine Jade LLC
Secrets of Jade

An egg is not really a yoni-pacifier. It is a practical tool for healing and moving/cultivating feminine energy. When we overuse the practices we may end up hurting ourselves, when we practice in balance we cultivate wisdom and compassionate yin energy.

Even a short 5 min a day practice and awareness exercises with your pelvis, heart, and yoni will benefit you a great deal in your life. As time progresses and your confidence naturally builds you will be able to extend this further.

The smaller eggs allow for greater intuitive development and practice and also for more energy flow. The larger eggs move the energy in a different way. You have to remember the simple mechanics of the body as well as the natural flexibility of the yoni.

Our yoni has a set of important reflexology points that are important to be aware of and to stimulate them for healing and energy appropriately as frequently as necessary.
You want to cultivate an awareness and a kind relationship with your body, so your practice and life benefits.

You never want to cause your yoni any pain.
I strongly suggest reading and practicing exercises from Wild Feminine by Tami Lynn Kent


Moon Care/Menstruation/A Woman’s cycle

Although every woman’s cycle is a bit different, most women’s cycles are between 28 to 35 days.
This is considered normal. Any cycle shorter or longer is an effect of either strenuous practice/exercise or bad health. Staying current and present and observant with the body throughout the month is important to cultivate inner balance. Make sure you do a proper breast self-exam every month.

As a result, this helps to bring harmony in our feminine relationships, while we are able to have healthy boundaries, healthy relationships and use our resources appropriately. We must remember as women that our vital life force energy is a valuable precious resource. Cultivating this energy properly is what helps us to really be in touch with our environment, emotions and also our practice.

You may have noticed that when you eat too much or too many sweets, meditation practice will be more difficult, dull… this has to do with body’s metabolism – this is why maintaining proper Sattvic balance in the diet and life helps us to reach our goal of self-liberation faster and it helps us become more useful human being in service for the whole.

Our environment is our responsibility and we need to take that seriously. We need to realize as women how we contribute to our environment’s wellness.

Approximately 20 billion pads, tampons, and applicators are being sent to North American landfills annually. On an individual level, each of the approximately 73 million menstruating people in North America will throw away 125 to 150kg of disposable menstrual products (or 16,800 disposable pads or tampons) in their lifetime.

This is our responsibility as women to not contribute to this problem.
The environmentally-friendly products come in all shapes and sizes and there is one for you for sure. Make sure you make the conscious switch for your own health and for the planet’s health.

The best products for the use during our menstruation are:

LunaPads
DivaCup

The products wash very easily with mild detergents and in a washer (or by hand) and a set of luna pads and/or a Diva Cup will last you more than 7 years with proper care.
This equals dollars saved, health saved and planet saved.

Vocabulary:
Pelvis includes the entire pelvic floor/bowl and all the organs, muscles, tissues in it

Yoni may include either only the external part of the woman’s sexual organs (vagina) and the external part of her body.

Karma Sonam Wangmo PhD


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 Art Paintings by Ines Honfi