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I don’t consider being able to scream an improvement in my life.

I decided to help some stupid arrogant cruel and bad people who hurt me, all in the name of oneness. Maybe I took on too big of a job. The whole thing is to me too mad. I am looking for my kind of normal equanimity. I already sound unhappy and angry 😤 when I deal with day to day, why scream? It doesn’t work for me and for people who work with me I don’t see myself as a leader screaming at people. No one needs to scream for me on my team. That is not necessary, that would mean we are living disjunction. I thought of these raging rooms that are in Toronto and I don’t know how I feel about it. Rage doesn’t clear up rage, rage makes more rage. Meditation and prayers and calmness make more calmness. I don’t need to scream for my stupid students who deserve all they are going through, my good students naturally don’t get to see or know about my bad students. Screaming isn’t a sign of happiness and it doesn’t help me to increase joy power or anything I like. I am not the kind of teacher that needs to scream at people, only at my bad students. Please don’t think it is a blessing that I scream. Dear Gods what a difficult life this is for some.

Back in 2018 I took Akshobya vows to never get angry, I am unhappy I broke them too many times in my opinion. This is why this is a practice so that we will fail and we will have to get better. Eventually the peace is a seamless continuity of undisturbed mind. I also took other things and didn’t break those vows. Too much anger is a problem.

Well there you go, things to think about, sure you can ask questions here in the thread.

By Maria Aleksa Szewczyk

Maria Aleksa Sonam Wangmo (she/Goddess) 🖋 my family name is Szewczyk. 🌴🦦🌴
I am weird. I believe in nature & nurture. I am an Ayurvedic Life-Style Counselor. I have a husband Loten Dahortsang. I have a daughter Kata.
ཡོཾ་ཏཱ་རེ་ཏུ་ཏྟཱ་རེ་ཏུ་རེ་སྭཱ་ཧཱ།
Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! That’s for my family. 🐚🪨
I have a mandala.
I have Big Love in my life. I have children.
Chocolate is my friend. We are teachers. Chocolate has much to teach.
We love to help people. 🧉

💕Motherhood is important 🌬

I am an Author. ☮️ to people.
Art, culture & language of women 💃🏻
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