Wisdom Mother [Poem]

I was not a believer before I became a wisdom mother

I cannot stand that I am this way
You need to do this for me,

I am just waiting brewing up my unhappiness
now I don’t want to say another thing
I am unhappy
I have desperation for love
and unimaginable compassion of Tibetan Buddhism is looking
after all my mistakes
Perhaps I will get something to work on now

I cannot stand that I am this way
I do not want for people to know I am an awful human being
I don’t think I ever want to see you again
Only momentarily, I do not want to feel the pain that I gave
to so many other women
What I want you to know and never forget is
that I want you to be always on the top
I absolutely didn’t say that

I cannot stand that I am this way
I would like you to know that I would like you
to take over my life now and be my teacher.
I know I have a wisdom mother.
I really understand this concept really properly.
and I would like you to be with me all the time
and
I don’t like that I am so desperate
I am mostly desperate for love.

I don’t want to be humiliated in public any more
I would like you to be who you want to be.
Your sister is very beautiful
I don’t like she is powerful.
I cannot bring her down no matter what I do.
I wanted you to die so I would know you are God
Bravo bravo bravo
I cannot stand that I am this way
wisdom from the mother is interpreted by mankind
the melody of it tasted in the body.

I understand the time of lying to myself is over
and I need to open my heart to pain
and the medicine of Buddhism will continue
to offer its wisdom to me to live in a way
that is whole as a woman, as I heal.
I am still healing from my greed and my hatred,
from my anger towards all that my simple mind considers to be better,
from all the pain of my family,
from all the desires that are unfulfilled,
from the unhappiness of my marriage,
from the pain I gave to my children,
from my mind that doesn’t want my heart
to be open and loving towards everyone.

Now I see you have wisdom,
I now need to bow to a female living Buddha.

I am just a little litte Peruvian woman.
ahhhhh somehow with Buddhas help I will make it.